


Another Day in the Life of Bruce Banner

by CutestDragonRider



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: A bit dark but also happy, Ace!Bruce, Asexual Bruce, Bruce has a little crush on Tony, Bruce is doing better, IT WILL GET BETTER BRUCE, Insecurity, M/M, Pre-Age of Ultron, Sorry I didn't like Nat/Bruce so I got to that early, bruce centric, mental issues, mild Self-harm, the start of something great hopefully
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2015-07-29
Packaged: 2018-04-11 07:07:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4426052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CutestDragonRider/pseuds/CutestDragonRider
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce lives a calm life when he's not being an Avenger. (AKA a look into how Bruce goes about his life, and how he deals with the Hulk).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Usual Days

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't seen a lot of Bruce-centric work on here, and since he's my favorite character I've finally gotten to writing about how I see his life. This is hopefully the start of a lot of Bruce. Not much Bruce/Tony in this first chapter but I think it's an interesting couple to work with, especially with asexual Bruce. Can definitely write a chapter looking more in how Nat and Bruce get along as close friends instead of as a couple.

When Bruce was avoiding going green, he actually thoroughly enjoyed life in his own little way. Thanks to living a life that could turn on its head at any moment the doctor enjoyed a lot of the simple things in life. How sunlight filled his room when he slept in, the smell of fresh-baked bread, the usual sort of things. On a day where he didn’t get an urgent message from Agent Hill or Fury, Bruce usually worked with slow productivity. Everything in his day was planned out while he showered, then he would make tea and breakfast while reading some scientific papers. Every now and then he would instead walk down to see Tony if he was available and in a merciful mood. Bruce did have his own lab and space in Avengers Tower, which he was exceedingly grateful to live in. Fury had offered to try to find him a place to live, but everyone knew that the doctor needed to be kept close. Under surveillance. 

If Bruce could keep busy and work himself to near exhaustion, his mind kept clear of those thoughts. He could feel the Hulk inside his head, pacing but by now gaining more patience. They had a bit of a silent agreement, if an arrangement as theirs could be called such. Bruce avoided all possible triggers, and the Hulk stayed (mostly) silent. On quiet, horrible nights, it felt like his mind was more of a battleground then his safe place. The haunted man remembered what he could, brief glimpses of Hulk rampaging and caring about no one but his own self-preservation. Letting the world know that if you mess with Bruce Banner you’ll release a hideous monster that the own man created. On the really awful, mind-breaking nights he worried he would Hulk out by accident. He would grip his arms too tightly, making sure to wear long sleeves the next day to hide the marks, no matter how light they were. The doctor was infinitely grateful Jarvis never bothered him at night, never let anyone know his secrets.

But those nights weren't around as often as one would think. Living in Avengers Tower, with people who cared and worried over him, actually warmed his heart. There were times when he would shut himself off, his mind would become irrational and make up excuses for their affection. Tony’s just waiting for a day where he can test out how the Hulk works. Pepper is just fearful, trying to hide it and keep the other guy back with false pleasantries. Whenever Steve stopped by to his lab to say hi it was just to check, make sure Bruce still had himself under control. Clint and Natasha were just doing Fury’s spying. The list use to get maddeningly long, at the beginning of the Avengers. But Bruce waited for signs of those fears coming to life, and none showed. Tony would want to see his work, genuinely, and ended up learning that although Bruce liked some jokes he really shouldn’t rile him up. They got close, sometimes where Bruce had to tell himself to not get his hopes up. Pepper would eat breakfast with him when she could, and they would easily talk about the most mundane things. Steve called him every now and then when he couldn’t stop by, just letting the man know when he saw something that reminded him of Bruce. They were usually quirky little shops he saw around the world, or when there was a kindly doctor the American hero had met. Bruce always smiled and laughed a lot during those calls, feeling more at ease with the phone call. Clint and Natasha visited separately usually, and whenever either one showed up they were simply friendly. Natasha joked more than Clint, and sometimes stayed longer. Bruce could tell they connected due to their issues, but he knew that she was hoping for a lifeline he couldn’t provide. Not the way she wanted. 

There was one night where they sat down alone, at a table recently cleared of dinner plates, where Bruce explained himself. There were multitudes of reasons, like his asexuality and his personal feelings, but ultimately he knew it would be better if they not pursued romance. He offered easy companionship, and after a moment Natasha admitted she would prefer that. It wouldn’t be easy for either of them to have a romantic relationship, they would likely pull each other down than help. Though Nat still seemed let down, more hopeful, Bruce was unwavering on the idea. He knew part of it was fear, one of his largest, keeping him back, but he was also weary of her struggles. If Bruce was without the other guy, he would think a bit differently, maybe, but even with their whole “lullaby” situation there were uncertain aspects.

There was also a part of Bruce that just knew he didn’t want to risk another massive mistake. Another moment in his life that would rip him apart and make every night worse than it already was. Would seep into the day time, into every escape he has. Bruce, at the core, made most decisions based on his fears. He never took a risk, not unless he really had to. He held back, kept his heart locked away, unless he was pulled out of his mind to the point where he forgot he had to hide. When he and Tony had worked together for hours on end in one day, not a one word said between them, and then suddenly Tony would walk over to see Bruce’s work. When Steve would be genuine and sincere, go out of his way to make Bruce feel happy. When Natasha would stop by with his favorite pastries and they happily chatted or enjoyed quiet company. 

At the end of the day, it was the simple things that made Bruce really smile.


	2. The Days where they get Shawarma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's certain people that leave a scar in everyone's life, and some days those scars open like fresh wounds and bleed into every waking moment.
> 
> In which Bruce and Tony talk daddy issues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a science major, but I can't say I've read many scientific journals that involve gamma radiation so sorry if there are any assumptions I shouldn't have made. 
> 
> Also, yes, I'm cheesy and I'm going to use science quotes to break up chapters from now on. Science boyfriends demand it, in my eyes.

One of the constants in Bruce’s life was his work. While he did work with Tony on occasions - whether for Avengers issues or just for fun - he spent most of his time on his gamma radiation research. At the beginning, once he had first become half Bruce half Hulk, the research was solely to ditch the latter half. Considering his original work in gamma energy was to build a bomb the man’s initial thoughts were that nothing good could come from it. Then more and more the radiation was used in the medical field and when no progress was made in the de-Hulking department Bruce strayed into general research.

One day, where he was conducting a general study of gamma radiation effects on different particles, Tony quietly walked into his lab seeming very unlike his usual boisterous self. Bruce is one of those people who calculates by taking all the factors possible and weighing their likelihood. His mind is streamlined and information is treated as if every bit was new data, not always linked with emotions. There were bullet points and charts, facts listed with any pictures he could recall. If one could read his mind it would be a very well organized research portfolio broken occasionally by sudden bursts of emotional depictions.

Thus, once the playboy walked into the room not talking up a storm Bruce started gathering all possibilities for the other’s silence. Of course, there were a multitude of mundane factors that could be at work but Tony, especially with their recent lack of stressful action, has been doing fairly well. Then the doctor remembered the month - December, which was not a good month for Tony in general until he could drink away his worries during festivities (not that a lack of celebration really stopped him but Tony seemed much happier to be drunk as a skunk when everyone else was as well). Then the day of the month could be a concern, and yes, his hypothesis held solid when his watch confirmed it was December 17th.

The day that Tony lost both of his parents in a car crash, 21 years ago.

“Hey Tony, uh do you want to see what I’m working on right now? I just started subjecting these nickel particles to some gamma radiation,” Bruce inquired, trying to act as if today was definitely _not_ December 17th.

The billionaire was silent for only a moment before a sliver of his usual smirk appeared. “I think I can take enough time out of my busy day to take a peek,” Tony answered, walking up to stand beside Bruce. Then, they both watched with scientific interest as the particles didn’t seem to do much of anything.

The doctor took down some notes while apologizing, “sorry, I guess this wasn’t the most exciting of the samples to show you. I’ll probably get to some chlorine particles later if you’d like me to call you.”

The slightly taller of the two shrugged, noting quietly, “I didn’t really come here to idly watch particles, Bruce.”

The use of his name was a key indicator that Tony seemed more interested in his company than his work. The doctor suppressed a slight fluttering feeling in his chest. “Oh, did you want to grab some food? I think I actually have a coupon from the Shawarma place in my wallet...” Bruce added absently as he started to search his pockets, the gamma radiation now turned off and not needing his attention.

“Yeah, that actually sounds good. Honestly I just found myself walking here without really thinking about it,” Tony admitted, seeming to be lost a bit in thought. Bruce was about to ask something but he was interrupted as Tony started to head out, saying “let’s get a move on then! I’m starving.”

A couple of months ago Bruce may have been annoyed at Tony’s lack of consideration to wait for him as he got out of his lab gear, but now he just smiled softly with fondness at the quirk. Regardless, he knew Tony wouldn't really leave the Avengers Tower without him.

_“Science is not only a disciple of reason but, also, one of romance and passion.”_

_-Stephen Hawking_

__

The to-go plates on the table filled the lounge with the smell of spiced lamb and chicken as the two Avengers quickly dug into their meal. At the beginning they were both so hungry they didn’t speak except for the occasional praise in regards to the food. However, even an upset Tony was a Tony who couldn't keep his mouth shut for very long.

“So, knowing you, you've got this all figured out and you’re just keeping quiet ‘cause you think it’ll help, yeah?” Tony stated more than asked in between mouthfuls of lamb-filled pita. He was speaking in his ‘I’m not done yet so don’t you say anything till I am’ tone, so Bruce just looked up at the playboy. “Well I would rather have one of those nights where we actually talk about what’s bothering us, despite that being the exact opposite of what I usually want,” Tony paused, a look on his face that reminded Bruce of vulnerability. “I trust you a lot, in the whole ridiculous-shared-experience way. I could always try to call Pepper but, well...”

“No, I understand, it...sounds like a good idea. I am always here for you Tony. Unless you’re trying to get a rise out of me,” Bruce added, smiling softly to convey his joking intention. Then his smile drifted away as he noted, “you should..probably go first.”

Tony waited to finish off his food, just a couple bites away. Bruce waited patiently, knowing that part of the delay was also to get to grips with speaking about the difficult situation at hand. “As you know, I didn’t have a good relationship with my father. He was just this figure of pressure and resentment, always saying I could do better, that I wasn’t good enough, you get the gist. Then every year this day comes around and I try to forget, and hell even JARVIS tries to keep it from me. But no matter what I always end up finding out. Someone releases a paper in remembrance of Howard Stark and write some bullshit with how proud he would be of me. I might look through some old stuff and remember, whatever happens, I spend the rest of this day in a goddamn funk. Never been able to shake it off.”

“...what reminded you this year, Tony? If I can ask,” Bruce wondered, thinking maybe it was something he could try to prevent happening in the future.

“Found an old family picture. It was when I was pretty little, before my dad’s alcoholism was really bad. We looked, oddly enough, pretty happy,” Tony said, looking off as if remembering when the picture was taken, before any of the family problems came about. “Anyways, it still reminds me of what happened later on. How, some part of me, kind of wishes he could see me now. Could see the suit. I mean, how could he not be impressed then?” There was a bit of a sting to the unanswerable question, as if Tony thought that still, no matter what, Howard Stark would have never been impressed.

“If it helps at all, I’m impressed. I mean, it’s something you imagine seeing in sci-fi that would have never come true. That, and you’re most likely the smartest man on this planet.” Bruce is smiling, he can feel it tugging the corners of his lips, and he dares to look Tony in the eye. The doctor imagines that he sees some of the sadness disappear in those stunning russet eyes.

“Considering you’re another genius, in my mind someone who could be my equal, it helps a little,” Tony confesses, his usual joking smirk brightening his face. “That and you actually have patience to do proper research while I sort of just go for it. Sometimes you have to admire the abilities others have that you don’t,” Tony commented, with unusual kindness

Bruce knew that the words weren’t meant to hurt but unfortunately they did and he couldn’t stop himself before the words came tumbling out, “well last time I wasn’t very careful I created a monster. Kind of makes you more careful.” When there was a couple moments of quiet Bruce put his face in his hands before running his fingers through his hair. “Sorry, it just slipped out. I know that’s not what you meant.”

“It’s alright. I imagine me talking about my dad didn’t help you much. I know your dad wasn’t great either,” Tony responded, worry and understanding in his voice.

Bruce just nodded, not feeling like Tony was asking for him to delve deeper, to answer the questions. The doctor was actually worried he would start crying if he thought too much about it. He avoided thinking about his parents so completely he often forgot they existed till he was reminded.

“...I would be willing to hear, if you want to talk about it. Of course you know I’ve read all your S.H.I.E.L.D files, but even they are vague. I really just know that your dad was an atomic physicist who landed himself in a psychiatric institute and that they’ve both died.” Tony waited a moment before adding, “of course don’t say anything if it’s going to stress you out.”

“No, I’d like to explain it to you. Saying it is supposed to be good with dealing with it,” Bruce muttered, as if the pain was fresh and was reciting words from a recent therapy session. “My father worked with a lot of nuclear energy and thought that I was a genius because of it. Thought it mutated my genes, for some reason. My mother...” Bruce trailed off, taking a deep breath. “She loved me, unconditionally, and I loved her back. My father started...changing, saw me as a sort of monster way before “the other guy” was even a scientific possibility. He became abusive and when my mother tried to stop him...” The doctor swallowed, barely getting the words out, “he murdered her.” Bruce shook his head and crossed his arms, clutching at his own biceps.

“Shit, Bruce...” Tony mutters just before he heads over to sit beside Bruce, before asking quietly, “would it be good or really goddamn awful if I hugged you right now?”

The older of the two was a little bit surprised, not quite use to Tony asking before touching him, and not quite remembering if they’d ever hugged. “Uh, it’d be fine, but I may turn into a sobbing mess,” Bruce warned. He felt a strong arm wrap around his shoulders, pulling him a bit closer to Tony. There was a bit of awkwardness to it, considering their relationship was classified as “friends” and this was not helping Bruce alleviate his “crush” on the other man.

“You can cry, if you want, seriously. I would too, if I was in the state you’re in. Not even going to lie, I cried all of my tears out earlier when I picked up the photo,” Tony whispered, now close enough to Bruce that he could be so quiet and still be heard.

That was all that was needed to get the floodgates to open, and a lot of Bruce’s suppressed anger and fear seeped out in tear form. Thankfully, there were plenty of napkins to sop up the waterworks and Tony was silent the whole time, the support Bruce needed, clung to. His walls broke away more and more after each sob, until he finally turned and fully hugged Tony, surprising the other man but he didn’t move away from the embrace.

When Bruce was finally all done, Tony wasn’t bothered at all, and smiled something special, something sweet and too fond to be real. Later the doctor would think he imagined the emotions behind it. However, as always, his irrational thoughts could not hide from the facts stored in his mind. But the facts, right now, proved nothing but a possibility.

__

_“Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.”_

_-Carl Sagan_


End file.
